Command & Conquer: Red Alert has to be one of my all-time favourite real-time strategy games. I've played nearly everything Westwood put out, from Dune II to C&C3 (Tiberian Twilight never happened; allegations otherwise will be investigated by the Thought Police); perhaps it's a symptom of my latent Slavophilia, but the Red Alert series has always held the greatest appeal, both in terms of story and gameplay.

At least up until RA3, whose execution resembled Mussolini's.

Reviews of such a landmark franchise are a dime-a-dozen by now, so rather than rehash what has already been stated countless times before in comparing nuts and bolts, I've opted to critique the games based their respective variations on the iconic theme, "Hell March", which I think not only functions as the anthem of the series, but reveals subtle reflections of the vision and scope of the games themselves.

Thus I present to you, The Rise and Fall of Red Alert according to "Hell March":

"Hell March" (1996)

Frank Klepacki began composing an anthem for the Brotherhood of Nod in preparation for the Covert Operations mission pack for the original Command & Conquer. As the story goes, upon hearing it, Brett Sperry immediately declared it would be the theme for their next project, which became the inaugural Red Alert. As Einstein himself said: "Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler." This has always been my favourite of the official three: its minimalist orchestration and quick pace make it an invigorating march; like the game itself it has a simple, but subversively effective design, streamlined and no-nonsense, giving you exactly what you need without gratuitous distraction.

Given that RA1 was built off the same engine as C&C with analogous faction technologies, the infectious spirit of "Hell March" plays a double role: stylistically it harkens back to the familiarity of the C&C soundtrack while at the same time heralding a game that is its own element. Unfortunately overlooked by later remixes is the song's second section, which while not imbued with the bravado as the former half offers itself as an analogy to the game's many dualities: raw Soviet power versus Allied subterfuge; front-line fighting and secret technology; the moments of wry humour penetrating the cutscenes' otherwise straight face. It is also the origin of a covert leitmotif that appears in both later covers and other songs in the sequel soundtrack.

"HM2" (2001)

Whereas RA1 was intended as an expansion pack to C&C, with the release of Tiberian Sun in 1999 the vision and aesthetics of the two franchises began their radical divergence. Part and parcel of the Cold War context was the rigid dichotomy between the Allies and Soviets, whose arsenal shared virtually nothing in common. The Soviets in particular were modelled after an industrial theme, reflected in Klepacki's heavy metal anthem. Already no slouch, Red Alert was now more confident, striding out boldly with an air of "Remember me?"; the beat is slower, more like a parade than a march to the front, but with an even greater weight behind it than the first onslaught.

While in terms of atmosphere I shall remain forever beholden to RA1, in terms of gameplay my favourite installment is unquestionably RA2. Although heavier, "HM2" still follows utility rather than flair; it knows what it intends to do and is confident in doing it. The tune is familiar, while at the same time making clear that this is a brand new experience. RA2's design laid its campier elements upfront, but just like the higher chords in this piece, there is an ever-present sense of menace that threatens to tip the comedy into an all-too-serious catastrophe.

"Hell March 3" (2008)

And so we arrive at the EA years. I recall hearing the first hints about Red Alert 3 circa 2004; Westwood was bought out and the future of the franchise looked uncertain, and there were later rumours that RA3 had been cancelled altogether. Thus when the third installment was confirmed as legitimate, we fans knew EA would spare no expense to declare its triumphant return. But the newest rendition of the beloved theme trumpeted not the Übermensch we thought would be the logical conclusion to this more-than-decade's-long journey, but a portly, pompous Soviet general decked out in medals almost certainly self-awarded.

When I first heard "Hell March 3", I had to take a moment to confirm that I was, in fact, listening to a new song, so similar it was to its predecessor. "HM2" was confident, but this was just plain arrogant, the wealthy inheritor throwing around its ancestors' accumulated star power. It wasn't so much a rendition as Cut №2 dolled up for the sake of looking different, a theme that worked now overloaded with bells and whistles meant to overwhelm the audience with sheer glam. Gone was any hint of subtlety: RA2 was called campy, and not unjustifiably, but here was spared no stereotype, no thematic cliché, to the point that I couldn't tell if this was an honest effort or some ironic, self-indulgent parody. It was new, and it was flashy, but it was also unbearably noisy, and unwilling to leave anything to the imagination... much like the women in the cutscenes.


Fortunately, through some black market trading I managed to get my hands on Dr. Zelinsky's time machine. If you'll excuse me, I have a few corrections to make in the timeline...