Hi nice very nice........Have you tried airbrush in PSP...Shirley

This picture has an awesome composition, and great lighting. But you're right, the colored pencils just don't do it justice! You should try doing another version--maybe with markers (my medium of choice) or like Shirley suggested, Photoshop. Heck, even using the blur tool in a paint program might be able to bring this image out a bit more! The colors you did use are really excellent--This is an awesome image. I hope your next one turns out just as you want it!