Asking this on behalf of me and someone else with a similar issue whose wording I merged with my issue.

I've been thinking of this lately because I'm in a number of forums and don't always get to check them all everyday to see what people posted.

There's a certain forum in particular I don't always get to talk to people in. It's a general history forum, you can ask history questions in it, and I do that instead of asking all my questions on Reddit. But I use it similar to Reddit, where I ask a question, leave for a while (maybe a few days), and come back to it later. A watched pot never boils. Also my mind gets frazzled.

However, this also means if someone asks me a question about my question, the response, if I give one, might be delayed. Often people ask a question but then the discussion answers that question as it moves on without me answering it. And I think "oh good, they took care of that for me".

A week ago, the main acting mod was livid that I've kept doing this. He didn't ban me but went on and on and on about "how disrespectful for making threads and not interacting with them" and said he would ban me if I continued, and how I was being a "user" (well duh, when you're on the internet you're a user) for being so uninvolved in the forum. Jokes aside, now I feel anxious about interacting in these clubs unless I have something along the lines of a week off. He made two replies about it each containing three paragraphs, it almost felt as if a gym teacher was giving me a note on not starting fights in the locker room.

I'm probably the butthole here, but is this that big a deal in the forum world, or was this one of those "kneel before mod" guys?

I would say the answer to your question lies in the intent and expectations of the individual forums. For example, here on Side 7, the forums are in no way expected to be real-time communications. People have lives and other activities going on. If you post something and then come back days later to check on it, fine.

However, if the forums in question have the expectation of remaining active and having posters staying active in their threads until the thread concludes, then you've got to play by that. Different forums have different self-contained cultures. It seems like it's kind of a "read the room" situation to me.

-- BK

It seems more like a biased reaction rather than professionalism. I tend to just assume that mods that act like that just had a bad day unless they prove otherwise, but I won't deny that moderator corruption is bound to happen, if not on this or that site, then it might happen on another.

★

I don't know what you've been doing on that other forum exactly, but over here on side7, you start a lot of topics of the "debate" kind - about difficult or controversial issues that provoke discussion, difficult questions with no straight answer.

Reddit is known for the OP posting, getting 10's, 100's or 1000's of replies, nobody expects the OP to get back to every one of them. Forum threads on small forums are a lot more personal, I think - and you starting a bunch of topics, getting back to them late, or not at all, gives an impression of non-genuine interest. E.g. just posting to post, just posting to get those questions out of your head, posting to stir discussion but then not wanting anything to do with it.

People can't tell if you agree with them or what you think of their response if you never say anything, consider replying with something short, like "I agree with what x said, that was a very good explanation, I think it answers the question" just to let them know you're still there.

I can't tell if you're in the wrong or right without hearing the other person's version of the story and maybe seeing those threads (I don't really want to see them) but I think you and the mod are both in the grey area here.

I can see why the mod would be frustrated, with you posting and creating these discussions and not engaging with them. They have a community they want to work a certain way, and they might feel like you're throwing a spanner in the works or have some ill intentions.

I can also see you mean no harm by doing it, and you have your reasons, and I think they're valid reasons.

Maybe reddit would be better for it though?

I hope you can see I mean no harm with my response, I just wanted to provide a different perspective. Sorry if it wasn't very empathetic or validating.

As per BK, it's largely a matter of individual site etiquette. You mention Reddit, and while I'm not a user, I've skimmed threads on places like r/askahistorian and it seems fairly common for the OP to thank at least the most comprehensive responders.

More conventional forums, especially with small communities, tend to expect more consistent engagement. My primary stomping ground for many years was CivFanatics, and one fellow became notorious in Off-Topic for posting OPs on current events with slanted/incendiary angles that were debunked within the first page, and never showing up in the thread again. CFC as a whole is a lot more argumentative, and OT threads in particular will frequently drift, sometimes radically, away from the original subject even when not 'hijacked' by a specific circle of pundits, so it's not uncommon for the initial respondents to abandon ship when the conversation moves on; but as per @Sheepy, people who mic-drop immediately after a provocative opening argument quickly earn a reputation as troublemakers.

Having you bait people (yes, bait) into putting in time, thought and effort (there's no short response to such complex questions) into helping you answer your question, and then you running off and starting another thing you'll abandon immediately..

I find it extremely disrespectful. You ask a stranger for directions, they decide to help you out, think about it, check, ask another person, draw you a map, but in the meantime you're already asking some other stranger "In the context of evolution, what do you think came first? was it the chicken, or the egg? Interested in hearing your opinions (not really...)"

I wouldn't want this kind of behavior in my forum/community, it's extremely rude, and it poisons the whole place. 

There's a difference between not replying to every one of the posts you receive in a single topic, and starting a bunch of discussions you never interact with.

The most difficult part is always the fact that those of us interested in the subject don't know of anything themselves, so a question and answer hub becomes just a question hub. It would be like hosting a potluck and expecting everyone to be the type who can cook and expecting nobody to be the type to attend for the very reason that they have no food at home or can't cook. Which makes it a soup kitchen for everyone except the starving.

The other issue is sometimes you don't know when something is answered. Sometimes you'll get a few responses tackling it from different angles.

Example:

Asker: How did Latveria survive the second great war?

Answerer 1: They're concealed enough in the alps. It's notoriously difficult to conquer mountain territories.

Answerer 2: Ah, my great grandfather was in Latveria during that time. He was tasked with watching the incoming soldiers. They definitely tried to come up through Romania, but alas.

All the answerers: slowly nudge the total angle or answer towards an agreeable precision that doesn't make its completion known

Asker in their mind: (alright, at what point do I consider this answered?)

This is as opposed to something like a math question which has its full answer in one blow.

They are thanked though, when the cue for it is detected. That's hard too though.