Brooke Has A Sit by @jessratte (Jessica Ratté)

(Forgive the random spaces and stuff. I just copy and pasted the description from my deviantART account and they have stuff that Side7 doesn't lol ;) )

DANGER! DANGER! DANGER WILL ROBINSON! goes around pretending she's a little robot on Mars...or whatever. WORLDS WORST SCAN ALERT! WILL PARALYZE YOU WITH FAIL! AND AWFUL SCANITY! SCANITY-LIKE FAIL! continues to walk around like a robot then decides that she's too lazy to walk around like a robot and returns to her normal fail-like state.

Okay. Please. PLEASE. PLEASE do not run away. I realize that this is probably single-handedly the worst scan you've ever seen ever in my gallery - even worse then all of my fail scans combined. This is by far the most hideous creation that my scanner has crapped out of it's USB hole, all over my face. It then preceded to rub the crap that it crapped out, all over me and caused me to suffocate and die from it's crap.

(Um, that's kinda gross Jess.)

Well I have no idea what else to call the stuff my scanner pukes out.

(Puke perhaps? Puke just might be less gross then crap.)

I think they are equally as gross. I'm just doing it for the dramatic effect so that way everyone knows just how AWFUL my scans are.

ANYWAY. So, off I go, all happy because I'm doing more exciting poses, and decide to draw Brooke since it's been a while. She's always fun because she likes eighties-styled clothes (who doesn't like eighties styled clothes?? Okay, so maybe men wearing cut off shorts isn't exactly the best thing that came from the eighties, but dammit. The eighties was awesome.) , so I thought I'd doodle her up and practice more posing.

So here she is, just kinda...bending...and kneeling...or whatever, in an awesome baggy sweater dress shirt thing (I'm always one a conquest to find the coolest baggy sweaters!). I just LOVEEEEE shirts that come off the shoulder- I happen to buy a lot of them because I love the way my shoulders look (don't have much for boobs, but dammit, I have awesome shoulders!!), so yes. Off shoulders shirts are the best. Anyway, so here she is, just lounging around being Brooke like and stuff. I was practicing a few things - sorta fooling around with the angle of her face, and of course practicing clothing folds. I was really happy with the end result, since that pose, believe it or not, was really hard to draw -

(Anything where a character isn't standing around staring is always hard for you Jess.)

:iconhardcoreplz: BRAIN. Anyway, it was difficult to draw because of the angle at which her knees are facing - not really towards you, but not really to the side, just..side you. (LOL WHUT?) Yes, once again, I create a direction. Just like my sidebackways and updownity. And other such directions I've probably created to explain my fail poses. Anyway, so I'm pretty happy with how her pose came out in the end. I would have liked to fit her whole body in the picture, but unfortunately, like I do so many times, I ended up drawing her too far to the side instead of in the middle like I had planned, and in doing so, drew her too big, so well.... hence why she's scrunched up on the side. But, I like these sorts of pictures. Full bodied not full bodied pictures. (HUR. I made a new picture type! :icondurrhurrplz: ) And look!! Blue leg warmers!! They're so much fun! Oddly enough, they really do help you keep warm... I wore some once when I was cold and was like OH YAY! I'm actually surprised her arm turned out so well.. normally a pose like this would call for my drawing octopus like tenticle arms. I actually like her hand here. It actually looks like, you know, a HAND. everyone claps and throws confetti I is happeh! :iconlarryplz:

Anyway, I just love her nose. And for the record, she has a big nose here because her nose is supposed to be kinda big. And IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH US BIG NOSED PEOPLE THEN...THEN...MLEHHH!! does some wierd flail hand thing in your face Just because our noses have their own gravitational pull doesn't mean we aren't people you know!! flail JUST BECAUSE THEY CALL NOSE SURGERY RHINOPLASTY DOESN'T MEAN WE'RE RHINOCEROSES!!! FLAIL!!!

Anyway. Now we get to the fun part.

I scanned it. For whatever reason, I decided to take this perfectly fine picture, and obliterate it to pieces by shoving it in my scanner and scanning it.

I....I...I have NO FUCKING (I usually don't like to use that work in my descriptions but I cannot find any other word at the mo) CLUE what the FUCK happened. I really DON'T. I was absolutely HORRIFIED when I saw this. First off, WHAT THE HELL!! WHY IS IT SO GRAINY??? I mean my scanner always scans Brooke in miserable but I mean this just tops it all. The black on her tights is just crap to the extreme, and there is not one part of this picture that scanned in nicely. I absolutely HATE the scan. I'm hoping to eventually rescan this one in, once I dig through my piles to find it. I actually scanned this picture on a day when my scanner was having it's period, because EVERY picture scanned in miserable, but you would think after about the fifth or sixth shitacular scan, I would have just called it quits. But no. Not only do I torture my characters by putting them in odd situations or romances that never go anywhere. Oh no, I must torture them further by scanning them. Why? Because I'm a sick, sick, sick, sadistic bastard. Why haven't they plotted my assassination yet?

looks left...then right, rather scared like ...Or have they...? :icondoomedplz:

But thats okay. I'm prepared. throws up an eraser I can just...ERASE THEM!! flails her eraser

Anyway. Just a nice picture - or was once a nice picture - of Brooke hanging out, in an outfit I wish I had altho I'm sure if I looked hard enough I'd probably find it in my collection somewhere. I don't know if I like the colours I've chosen for the background. And the way the background stopped at the shadow there, looks like it was badly Photoshopped. But, fear not friends, it's just watercolour pencil! Trust me, if this was Photoshopped by myself, the background would look much, much, MUCH WORSE. Even worse than the scan, someone asks.

YES. EVEN WORSE THEN THE SCAN.

:icongwahplz:

Anyway, just Brooke hanging out. Please don't look at the scan. It's really bad. Just ignore it. I assure you I've thoroughly busted my scanners ass already because of this.

Brooke here is © to Jess Ratte :D