Part I: A complete n00b's impressions of Hearts of Iron IV

After watching too many Modern Era and/or Lazytown mod videos, I took flight of all rational sense, and thrust my hand into an actual Paradox Interactive title. Here are the various thoughts that went through my mind:

• All these beginner's guides talk mostly about the interface, not how to actually play. This does not bode well.
• So I have no clue what I'm doing. Imma play France. There's no way this can possibly backfire, riiiiiight..?
• I'm spending most of my time clicking boxes on screens and/or a strategic map. Why the hell does it need so much graphics power?
• Actually, I think I grasp this interface better than Supreme Ruler: Cold War. And that was supposed to be the noob-friendly game.
• Well, trade was easy.
• Tojo didn't become prime minister until '41, I don't know why these games always default to him.
• Confound this Democracy! I wanna support Ethiopia!
• A month and a half to build one factory. I'll never be ready for Adolf.
• This music reminds me of Axis & Allies. I could probably mod it in...
• Oh right, France has a bunch of colonial troops, doesn't it?
• brb, boosting democracy in Italy.
• Goddammit it's already February. I need more factories to beat Adolf!
• According to these production figures, all infantry regiments will be fully supplied by 1941...
• Apparently French factory strikes have been a meme since 1936.
• Confound this Democracy! I wanna support Republican Spain!
• Goddammit it's already April. I need more factories to beat Adolf!
• Civil-war Republicans are Communist. Looks like I wasted a ton of political points propping up the Democrats...
• Ohey, that stability-boost line isn't exclusive to siding with Britain. TIME TO ENTENTE UP IN THIS HOUSE
• I'm spending a lot of time fast-forwarding through the months. This probably means I'm not doing something I should be.
• tfw de Gaulle can be a general and a government minister at the same time
• How the hell am I gonna round out all these tech trees before '39?
• People that whinge about appeasement never had to deal with logsitics. They also weren't playing Democracies.
• Should I even bother with Indochina? Two divisions won't exactly inspire fear in the Imperial Japanese Army...
• Goddammit it's already September. I need more factories to beat Adolf!
• So it's 1936 and I'm allied with the Czechs. There's no way this can possibly backfire, riiiiiight..?
• then you realize you can't build these heavy tanks because you need more experience points
• First year's not even done and I have a sneaking suspicion I've already buggered the long game.

It's gonna be a fun ride...

Part II: A seasoned general's debrief on Hearts of Iron IV

The first time I tried playing France, I botched the Entente at Yugoslavia, and despite running roughshod over Libya could not break either the German or Italian lines, at which point I surrendered to online user guides. I tried another three or four times with the turtle-to-'38 approach, but either I'd still stonewall against the Axis, or the Balkans would get rolled, or both. Then I saw a single comment about going for early war and changed tack entirely.

This is my story thus far.

• March, 1936. Germany stations troops in the demilitarized Rhineland frontier in contravention of the Treaty of Versailles. I tell Britain Adolf's not playing square. Neville tells me to sod off. I tell Adolf to get stuffed.
• Oops, it appears I've declared war.
• Twenty-seven divisions to five. Can you spell "land grab"?
• Those Communist rebels are rather neatly packed into an easily corralled corner WAIT WHAT HAPPENED TO AFRICA
• All the colonial troops deployed to Africa have magically poofed to the continent. Guess it's good I left the main fleet in Marseilles.
• tfw the Commune stole half your North Fleet
• After about a week of tying the troops down in pocket fights, I realize their only two cities are completely undefended. TANK RUSH KEKEKEKE
• Rebellion crushed with a total casualty count of six destroyers. Shoulda kept the ships in port and just rushed to Dieppe.
• Now to rush all these motor divisions to the Rhine and OH GOD DAMN IT MORE JERRIES
• Now that the Colonial Corps has debarked in Algeria, it can embark right the hell back to Europe.
• Sure is easier crossing the river when there aren't a bunch of forts in the way.
• Germany is calling up the tanks but I still have numerical superiority. Better yet, there're gaps in the line so I can actually try encirclement this time.
• Maybe I would appreciate the French planning bonus if I wasn't micromanaging every single unit.
• The further we go from Maginot, the longer the front gets. I'm doing a pretty good job of pushing the Wehrmacht over the river, but if I can't start flanking soon this is going to be a pain.
• tfw you've built about four factories because all your production is sucked up by field repairs
• People laugh at cavalry in WWII, but they're great for nabbing open land.
• HoI4 minigame: Stave off frontline attacks long enough to finish off the encircled division.
• It's been months and I don't think I have a single frontline division at full strength.
• tfw the front stretches from Bremen to Munich and you're still holding initiative
• French tank brigades are actually ridiculously fragile, and thanks to supply shortages they're barely reinforcing. They are, however, excellent for rushing empty land.
• I have made a serious strategic error. Since France is technically the aggressor in this war, I can't call Czechoslovakia in support because democracies hate offensive war. That means I'm on my own until Adolf muscles in on the Sudetenland, and that's not 'til September '38. It's still July '36.
• I think I've finally found the weak link. Germany's been filtring troops south for the heaviest fighting, and now the north coast is practically undefended. Crossing my fingers I can rush east before they start calling up reserves.
• I've had to pull out pretty much all air wings before they were completely destroyed, but at this point air superiority isn't Adolf's main problem.
• BUT THEN CZECHIA JOINED IN ANYWAY
• On the one hand, the Czechs are squandering opportunity not rushing to encircle the Germans. On the other, the strategic situation is the opposite of the Sudeten crisis, so I suppose they can afford to take their time.
• Rushing to link up with Czech territory and cut off like six divisions at once.
• tfw Prague gives you the entire army
• POCKET SECURED. JERRY'S A GONER.
• It is now September 1936. The northern front is about to crack, the Czech army is sneaking up the Polish border, and I've just finished off another tank division. Germany holds ~30% of its major cities and we've got double their divisions.

This war might very well be over by Christmas.

Part III: More HoI4 Adventures: Defending Kolbassa

When last we spoke, France had roflstomped Germany and the race was on to prepare for the Soviet assault on Poland. Well, by the time I remembered I could've been training more troops before increasing conscription, the war was already underway and I Think I Botched It™. Going back to late '36, I manoeuvred the end days of the Second Franco–Prussian War to complete the annexation of Germany so Adenauer would get off my back and I could build up properly.

This is the result.

• Murphy's Law of Time Travel: Whereas in the original game, China was actually in the process of evicting the Japanese and its allies from the continent, it is now decidedly on the defensive. I'd call it a sacrifice for the Greater Good, but I doubt I'll be touching Asia for several years.
• Having learned my lesson in the last attempt, I spent the interbellum restoring the Grande Armée, including more planes and the first heavy tank brigades. Nearly exhausted the reserve manpower to do it, but we're bumping up conscription the moment the writ is dropped so it shouldn't be a problem.
• December, 1940: Stalin demands Poland cede its eastern frontier. Moscicki is having none of it. Ironically, Russia doesn't immediately declare war—I wouldn't mind so much except I've got a coup in the making and we're literally days to the launch date.
• What better way to kick off the New Year than an anti-Communist insurrection in Stalingrad? Actually, it'd help if Poland would hurry up and invite me to the war.
• Poland joins the Entente and France is officially at war. With virtually the entire Red Army massed at the Polish border, the initial push into Ukraine is largely unopposed.
• STARIO HAS HOW MANY DIVISIONS?!?!?!?!
• Having failed to advance anywhere or inflict significant casualties, the Russian insurgents capitulate. Thanks for nothing, Kerensky.
• Month's not even out yet and we're already halfway through Ukraine. Poland, unfortunately, has lost ground as the Czech army races to the front.
• By May we've started to push back through Poland. I'm actually worried how fast the southern front is advancing since I haven't been able to use encirclement tactics nearly as much as I want. On the other hand, the Soviets are bleeding troops far faster than the Entente combined.
• By July we've liberated Poland. The southern front has stalled due to lack of troops for concentrated spearheads, but the Soviets are already bleeding supplies and almost all their counteroffensives are failures.
• Having exhausted itself on bloody attacks, the Red Army is dangerously understrength. The southern offensive renews in earnest and the northern front has already crossed the Stalin Line. Soviet casualties are already nearly 1.5 million; we're not even one-fifth of that.
• Training is nearly complete for fresh motorized divisions for the northern front, which aside from Czech cavalry is critically short of mobile units. Training has also started on a new army specifically for a naval spearhead into Leningrad—the Soviet Baltic Fleet hasn't been a thing for a few months now, and the sooner I start flanking the faster Moscow will fall.
• We're into Fall, the Soviet air force no longer appears to exist, the Red Army is in a perpetual state of enfeeblement, and we've launched an incursion into the Caucasus separate from the main fronts. That said, I'm still waiting for the other shoe to drop.
• And then our little foothold around Krasnodar is surrounded. It looks like Stalin's running out of troops, though, as there's a large gap in the northern front leading, of all places, to Moscow.

BUT THAT'S NOT ALL!

• We're advancing so fast I keep forgetting to rebase the air force. The northern front has reached the Gulf of Finland, making a naval assault on Leningrad redundant. The new army will instead deploy to the Caucasus, which is about to expand the front something horrible.
• After a slow and painful bloodletting, Nationalist China surrenders, and with it, the United Front. Japan annexes the Chi-Coms and the entire coast, and the surviving cliques are released as fascist puppet states. Meanwhile, Tokyo is gearing up for Phase II—without the quagmire of the Chinese front, this is likely to get nasty.
• Having hitherto contributed literally nothing to the war, Yugoslavia finds that thanks to Japan's recent imperialism, World Tension is high enough to start lend-leasing to Czechia. I guess Prince Paul can stick around.
• We now have an unbroken front line from Finland to Turkey. Successful encirclements have cut down the Red Army by about 50 divisions. Again, still waiting for the other shoe.
• "I AM CHARLES DE GAULLE, AND I WILL CONQUER THE CAUCASUS!"
• We are now into 1942. I've only got three National Foci left, Moscow is now ours after a surprisingly lacklustre defence, and I'm in a startlingly good position to split the Caucasian front... if I can finally get enough troops to the bottleneck to spear it. Meanwhile in the north, I'm rushing Arctic territories since the Soviets seem to finally be running out of troops.
• After closing the bottleneck, the Caucasus defenders were easy prey. A single strategic encirclement, and the Red Army was effectively halved.
• Moscow and Stalingrad are safely in the hands of the Entente. Remember, Adolf: winners don't use genocide! Stalin is at 78% capitulation, but from here on out the cities are low-value and widely dispersed. Honestly, he should just surrender now—have you seen General Juin's medals??

I'M NOT DONE YET!

• So little has happened in the Pacific, it's easy to forget Japan has been at war with the Dutch for over three months. It is about to complete preparations against the USA, so this could change.
• With Germany removed from the world stage, Italy was basically destined to resurrect the Roman Empire. While I've been able to more or less ignore it thus far, "Italy First" opens a wide swath of aggressive policies, including war with France.
• Nearing Summer and I think I can confidently say we have defended kolbassa. The Soviets can no longer maintain a unified front line, and French troops are closing in on the Ural factory cities. Total Entente casualties thus far are a mere 452,000, about half of which are French, whereas the Soviets have lost an appalling 5.4 million. At this point it's basically a prolonged mop-up operation.
• 9 July 1942: The other shoe finally drops in the form of Benny's boot, stomping on a human face forever. Having just declared war on Greece, Rome is now preparing a war on France. With only a token garrison along the Alps and nothing against Spain, the only local counter are the Yugoslav army and the new Czech divisions mustered during the interbellum. Add that Bulgaria is already an Italian ally and Hungary and Spain share ideological camaraderie, and the outlook is anything but promising. (Meanwhile, in spite of 91% capitulation, Koba has decided that the future of Communism depends on invading Japan three years early.) This means I have seventy days to beat Uncle Joe and haul ass back to the Metropole before everything goes to pot.

My colleagues told me it's a mistake to play with Historical Foci, but I recon I'm about to get a proper taste of the Hearts of Iron experience.

Part IV: Le Fin du Siècle?

It's been a couple months since the last HoI4 report—partly due to priorities, and partly due to I've basically hit a dead-end adventure-wise. The war with the Soviets ended at the Urals at the start of September '42, at which point I ended up testing several different peace plans:

• The first split everything between the victors. World Tension shot through the roof and there was no way in Hell I could expand the alliance. Gave up on that one fast.
• The second took all the land but then released Russia as a puppet. This did not lower World Tension as hoped, so I gave up on that one too.
• The third gave the European territories to Czechopolemania and left the rest alone. When Koba pursued the Black Sea Breakout foci, I brought Iraq, Iran and Afghanistan into the Entente and wound up with a new campaign—in terms of actual combat it was a pushover, but it was bloody exhausting because Siberia had no infrastructure, Soviet victory points were now weighted toward Vladivostok, and it took until Mongolia to finally capitulate. As with Numbers 1 and 2, resulting peace plan meant France had no hope of making new friends.
• The latest attempt basically left the SU as-was, save for Ukrainian and Belarusian puppets. World Tension is actually manageable to the point that when Japan hit the USA, FDR partnered with us. Volunteer expedition to Greece kicked out Benny and defeated Bulgaria. It is now December '43, Italy and Japan lead separate factions, Russia is preparing to roll the Middle East, and I'm the only Entente member yet to join against Japan.

In sum: I'm in a bit of a pickle. I have three potential fronts, but only have the resources to focus on one; I want to net more allies, but beyond Stalin's targets joining a war will put remaining non-Allies out of reach; I've got a strong industrial base with good tech, but not enough manpower to properly exploit it.

To fight off the ennui, I did a spinoff game as Trotskyist Russia that was more fun than expected: Poland befriended and Euro-Axis defeated by 1940, but due to lack of Pacific Fleet Japan wasn't conquered until '44; most of Europe turned Communist, only for America to DoW Germany literally the day after peace, then join the Allies to start WWIII. After a harrowing start (lost almost all rubber imports so air force atrophied fast), Western Europe was pacified, India was conquered, and Japan was re-conquered even faster. I narrowly missed an opportunity to have both Chinas in the Comintern at once, which might've dodged the resumption of the Civil War. Also managed an early toehold into Alaska that turned into a fairly firm beachhead of the North Pacific coast.

Sadly, this game also hit an impasse in the form of a bug that sucks up idle convoys into supply missions, making sea transport a hassle and naval invasions nigh impossible. Version 1.4 has been out for a few months now, but upgrading the game will break the saves. These few games have all been an experiment and I can't pretend I've seen anything through to a conclusion, but to the two-and-a-half people that were following, should I try to push it through, or start afresh and cross my fingers convoys are fixed?